Hei, there, Darker than Black

You know, I never thought I'd identify with the main character of Darker than Black. I mean, I don't know about you, but I'm not exactly a cold-blooded, conscienceless killer, nor would I really want to think I have something in common with one, but, well, we're all human, right?

Anyway, during episode 16, I figured out that the reason the show makes me uneasy is because I resonate with Hei-as-Li's coldness. Li wears a mask every bit as real as Hei's. His mask is that pleasant, bland, slightly vapid facial expression he adopts when he's living his normal cover life.

Since trying to figure out who he really is creates much of the tension that drives the show, I can't help but admire the creators of the show for the way he is so slippery, face at odds with thoughts at odds with intentions at odds with actions at odds with results. Nothing feels real. It's uncomfortable and uncomfortably realistic.

In episode 16, a character confronts Li and asks why he can't just be social. Li seems kind of broadsided by that question. I found myself answering the character back, talking about how it's not like he can just be friends with people because that usually ends up with those people being dead, etc.


Or you could say it's because he's a contractor (if he is), and they're supposed to not have emotions, except that they do, and you've seen them be emotional, so you can't buy that completely.

There are a lot of excuses for keeping people at a distance. Eventually, it becomes your natural mode of operating, and you don't remember (if you were) ever being otherwise. Food for thought. I love anime.

Have you ever had any personal revelations or personal nudges to deeper thought from an anime (whole show, one episode, one bit of an episode)?